Reviews rated at 2 glooms

Oh, wow. According to this movie, Seattle, Washington is the most important city in the world. In order to rectify the many various sins committed by the Reapers, the world starts to tear itself apart. Each Reaper commits only one error, elicited by Cameron's philosophy and bribes of wealth and fame. But these three mistakes are enough to cause catastrophes throughout the world. Again, three mistakes committed by three Reapers in the city of Seattle have the ability to change the whole world as Death tries to balance the scales. I don't know where three lives equals hundreds: I'm sure the screenwriter, John Masius, must have been using some esoteric form of non-Euclidean mathematics to come up with that equation.

Cameron is an idiot. He somehow maneuvers himself into the position of head Reaper over the four main characters in the most important city in the world in order to trick them into breaking the rules of Reaperdom. His goal? World annihilation. Why? Who the fuck knows. He just wants to do it because, from start to finish, he's the guy wearing the black hat. George knows he's evil—hell, all the characters know he's evil, except all of the Reapers but George apparently forget—from the get-go. He's just... evil. Isn't he evil? Gawd, he's so evil. I think you get the picture.

George's only mistake throughout the story is that she's given the wrong reap time. She's told to reap Hudson (Jordan Hudyma), Reggie's secret boyfriend, in a specific time and place, when it turns out that she was actually supposed to reap him about a week later in a different place altogether. This is enough, though, to create tsunamis and earthquakes. Overreaction, much?

Reggie's story arc was sweet. George has to reveal herself to her sister in order to keep her from killing herself, and their reminiscence scene is emotionally satisfying (despite my roommate's complaints that it broke continuity with the series). In fact, despite all of my complaints, Muth's and McKillip's performances were great from start to finish, as always. Reggie ultimately comes to terms with her sister's death, and she and her mom move away after Reggie explains to Joy that Seattle is killing them. They metaphorically abandon their attachment and obsession with death in order to live in a way that they never really had.

In the end, the Reapers must correct their mistakes and get rid of Cameron. In a horrifying series of scenes that are somehow intended to be high-larious, Roxy, Daisy, and Mason try to kill Cameron in several different ways, finally dismembering his body and incinerating them in a fireplace. While Roxy cooks marshmellows over his slowly burning remains. Oh, yeah. And then they send his ashes into space. What. The. Fuck. Reapers, lest we forget, cannot die. So what they've just done is condemn Cameron to an eternity in an urn... in fucking space. I didn't find this funny at all. It was a despicable and unforgivable action. There were other Reaper Divisions the main characters could have turned to. It was satisfying to see the Reapers kick the shit out of Cameron. It was monstrous to see them become depraved murderers in order to deal with this "problem."

I suppose it was George's ability to withstand Cameron's enchantments that allowed her to get promoted to the new "boss" of the External Influence Reaper Division. How she became that boss fell outside of the context of the series, dramatic though it was. Post-it notes fall from the sky as George raises her arms and welcomes the promotion. Post-its were Rube's thing. It's how he passed on the information provided to him by the incorporeal shadow representative of Death. Now, we're shown that post-its are also Death's way of passing on that information. Not only that, but Death apparently likes to rain post-its down from the sky. I hope George is able to catch them all, or we'll have to expect that we'll see the disastrous events of the upcoming movie 2012 unfold in our near future.

Nice work, George. Way to bring on the apocalypse.

nWoD Inspiration

Reapers. Reapers are basically immortal humans with the ability to heal at incredible speed. Although at first glance the rules for the rulebook Geist may apply to them, I think it's more accurate to create them using the template for the Purified in the Immortals supplemental book starting on page 97. Follow all the same rules for healing (including for keeping tattoos or a scar), disease immunity, and poison or toxin resistance. The only changes to those rules are described below.

Immortality. Even if all of a Reaper's health boxes are full on aggravated damage, they do not die (although they may need help putting their body parts back together if they're mutilated). They do not reappear in the Shadow; they do not have to work to return to their bodies. They simply heal and return to life. Allow a Reaper that is full on aggravated damage to return to life and consciousness after the last point of aggravated damage has healed. For example, if a given Reaper with 7 Health points "dies," the Reaper must heal all of her aggravated damage before returning to life. At the rate that a Purified heals, a 7-Health Reaper would return to life after 3.5 days.

Supernatural Advantage. As a Reaper grows, they are granted a type of supernatural resistance. Call it "Shroud." A Reaper's Shroud has a maximum score of 5 and can be increased by spending experience points at a rate of new dots ×8. A Reaper begins play with 1 dot of Shroud.

Reaping. A Reaper's ability to reap souls from the soon-to-be-dead is an instant action (possibly preceded by a Dexterity+Brawl roll if the reap is contested). Reaping souls from the already dead is also an instant action, but it's never contested. Destroying Gravelings would require a Dexterity+Brawl–5 (the Graveling's defense) roll to touch the Graveling. The Reaper then rolls Resolve+Intimidation reflexively to reap the Graveling. The Storyteller then rolls the Graveling's Resistance, a dice pool of 3, to see if the Graveling resists. If the Graveling fails the roll, the Graveling instantly turns to ash.

Identifying the Soon-to-be-Dead. Upon arriving at the location of a reap, the Reaper may roll Wits+Investigation (modified by environmental or roleplay factors) to determine who in the vicinity is most likely to die. The Reaper requires 5 successes to locate said individual. Each roll takes 5 minutes.

Unseen Sense. Reapers are attuned to death. Consequently, Reapers can automatically see any ghosts in Twilight. Ghosts instinctively know this and may be attracted to the Reaper. Additionally, the Reaper can sense supernatural phenomena, especially any phenomena related to ghosts or the Underworld. The Reaper may roll Wits+Composure to detect nearby ghosts and death-related resonances.

Modest Countenance. Reapers don't look like they did in life. The Reaper's new visage is mundane and practically unnoticeable. Reapers can never take the Striking Looks merit.

Gravelings. Gravelings are small and fast, but they do not attack humans directly. They're primarily incorporeal, so they would function under the rules for spirits. Since the only thing they would have to resist is a Reaper trying to destroy them, give them a defense of 5 to dodge the Reaper's touch attack, and a dice pool of 3 to resist the reap and instant death. Otherwise, they should just be allowed to roam at their leisure.

Stats. Generally, Gravelings would have Power 4, Finesse 5, and Resistance 3. They may have any quantity of Numina that a Storyteller chooses to give them, but the most important of them all would definitely be the "Ill Luck" Numina, which I'll define below. Gravelings may be spirit-like, but the Storyteller should remember that they are attuned to the Underworld, not the Shadow.

Ill Luck. Gravelings have the ability to kill people by placing a fatal curse upon them. Use the rules for the Fate 5 spell Forge Doom on page 159 of the Mage rulebook. Their roll would be Power+Finesse, so give them a dice pool of 9. This roll is contested by the target's Resolve+Supernatural Advantage, but only if the death is not already scheduled. A scheduled death requires no roll and cannot be resisted.