Reviews rated at 1 gloom

A Douchebag of Earthsea, and the Douchebags who Ruined the Book
Earthsea
posted by JoVo on February 26, 2010

 
The major characters of Smallville return to the small screen to provide you with a movie that can only be described as trite. There is nothing to spoil (ergo, no spoiler alert); this movie's so obvious. So, there's an archipelago named Earthsea that, many years ago, was kept at peace by a magical amulet. Now, there's war and violence all over the place. But there's a prophecy that a wizard will come who will make everything better. If only the Middle East had an amulet, right? I... Read more...

Wes Craven Should've Stopped at the Wishmaster Series
The Breed
posted by Ezekiel on February 12, 2010

 
When I saw the poster for this movie I thought "Yay! A Wes Craven werewolf movie!" Though what I got for my 86 minutes was a craptastic display of crap. I had seen many of his works before, The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, The Wishmaster franchise, etc. As always I was pleasantly pleased the amount of gore and craziness that Craven had shown me. This however, I will never get that 86 minutes back. If you're reading this and haven't watched "The Breed," do yourself a favor and pick... Read more...

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