Miscellaneous Outworlder Reviews
Changed the Rules
Splice
posted by Kattastrophe on July 01, 2010
Everything about this trailer told me it would be a ridiculous creature feature. In fact, the only reason I saw it was to farm it for ideas and write the review. It's a bit like Event Horizon. The trailer kinda shows you what the movie's about, but leaves out the critical information that would push the movie from "maybe I'll see that" to "hells yeah! Let's all go to the movies!" But it almost works in the movie's favor. Much like Event Horizon, the less you know about it going in, the more... Read more...
Hercules and Gurl Power
Hercules and the Amazon Women
posted by JoVo on June 28, 2010
Little else ever captured my imagination the way that Greek mythology did. Of course I started out reading all the children's story books. Then, in 1994, I was sitting in front of my Macintosh computer (with my brand new TV tuner) and discovered Action Pack, a series of television movies that featured interesting but sometimes really bad shows like TekWar and Cleopatra 2525. It was primarily a guilty pleasure, but nobody had done Hercules the way that Action Pack did Hercules in... Read more...
Drowning Like Turkeys
Heavy Rain
posted by Kattastrophe on June 21, 2010
I was really excited about Heavy Rain. I wanted so badly for it to be good. At least good enough for me to finish. I played the demo the day it came out and it was pretty awesome. I’m used to my Xbox controller, so I had some problems remembering where the buttons were, but that was my issue, not the game’s.
At various points throughout the game, you play one of four characters; Ethan Mars, a divorced father, Norman Jayden, an FBI profiler, Scott Shelby, a private eye, and Madison Paige.... Read more...
This Is What You Call An Apocalypse?
Legion
posted by Ezekiel on June 21, 2010
Every now and then when I'm out wondering what movie to watch, I think back to those films that friends have warned me against. Still I sit myself down and subject myself to just pure aweful. I'm not sure what possesses me to do this, or why even that I sit through the whole thing, or even with the case of "Legion" I do so a few times.
The previews pretty much lay out the whole plot of the movie, so really you as the movie goer are watching it for what? The explosions, the action, the... Read more...
Time's Up
Prince of Persia
posted by Ezekiel on June 21, 2010
Seldom does a film come along that takes your expectations and crushes them in pure awesome, this was one of them. I find it interesting that often films are adapted from games or books and for the most part they do a horrible job at staying true to the original, this wasn't the case for Prince of Persia.
Minus the obvious computer graphics, it was amazingly accurate to the orginal game on Xbox. The action was both amazing and daring, and the setting made me feel like I needed to dump... Read more...
A Mild Replacement
Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief
posted by Ezekiel on June 21, 2010
I never saw the trailer for this film, or read the book. My only introduction to it was the movie poster and the title, and immediately I thought "That looks cool!", after watching the film though I was wrong. It's not bad, but not great either. It's in that middle grey area.
Now I'm not saying that it wasn't entertaining, because it was, I laughed where I was supposed to, felt bad for the characters when I was supposed, and cheered them on when I was supposed to. That's where it ends... Read more...
The Face of God
The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
posted by Kattastrophe on June 21, 2010
I heard about this movie about a year ago and had been anxiously awaiting it. The premise is so twisted and bizarre, how could it not be awesome?
A crazy surgeon, Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser), renowned for separating conjoined twins, becomes obsessed with the idea of creating a human centipede. Basically, taking three individuals and connecting them, anus – mouth – anus - mouth. According to the movie poster, it’s 100% medically accurate, but the most I know about medicine is that getting a... Read more...
Kicks Ass
Kick Ass
posted by Kattastrophe on June 21, 2010
This was not the movie I expected. Which is good, because the movie I expected wouldn’t have been rated 5/5. It would have been funny, but not a 5. I was expected a very light-hearted comedy with lots of fanservicey in-jokes for the geeks.
Kick Ass is actually a surprisingly dark movie. It has a theme and complexity. There’s a running undercurrent of insanity versus sanity and how difficult it really is to do the right thing. Or even know what the right thing is.
My favorite moment... Read more...
I'm Not Okay, I Promise
The Crazies
posted by Kattastrophe on June 21, 2010
The problem with zombie movies is that zombies really only have one motivation—to eat. It’s scary, yeah, but it it’s not terrifying. People are far more terrifying than zombies. People have so many wants. They react to things. Zombies… well, they just GO.
The rules of society keep most people in line. They keep people from doing awful things to one another. Our brain tells us that no matter how much we want to hurt someone, it’s not okay. We’ll get arrested, we’ll be ostracized. The... Read more...
All's Right With the World
The Book of Eli
posted by Kattastrophe on June 21, 2010
It's a common theme in post-apocalyptic fiction that humans are generally so lazy and self-serving that when the end comes, those left will do nothing at all to clean up. Roads will still be clogged with abandoned cars. Dead bodies will rot inside houses. Utility stations will never be repaired. Murderers will run the town and everything will pretty much have to gone to shit.
The Book of Eli is the first movie I've seen that gave a reason for it. Thirty years after "the Big Flash" Eli... Read more...
You're Not Who You Think You Are
Shutter Island
posted by JoVo on February 28, 2010
I first heard of this movie watching videos online. Ads for it were everywhere, and they saturated my media so much that I got to the point where I didn't want to hear anything else about the movie. Then Topher wanted to go see the movie. So did Kaz and Zeke, so how could I resist? I'd seen the trailers, the movie looked cool, what was there to lose?
It was worth it. Shutter Island was greatly entertaining, beautifully constructed, and thought-provoking. And it's always nice to see... Read more...
SplatterPunks Comes To The Big Screen
Midnight Meat Train
posted by Ezekiel on February 12, 2010
I remember when a freind of mine asked me if I liked horror, and sure who here doesn't. What came next I didn't expect, that same friend asked if I had like horror literature. Instantly my mind went to one of my favorite authors, Stephen King and losely followed by some "horror" books I had read as an adolescent. My friend only smirked and said "Then you've not really read horror", and introduced me to SplatterPunks. A collection of short stories that bordered just on this side of depraved.... Read more...
My Money Says You're Not Going Anywhere
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
posted by Kattastrophe on February 12, 2010
So… I actually kind of honestly liked this movie. I didn’t expect to. I mean, historically speaking, horror prequels are trash. Especially when they’re made thirty years after the original (though, I think it’s technically a prequel to the remake). So, yay for not feeling like I just lost ninety-one minutes of my life. It’s not cinematic genius, but it was totally enjoyable to watch.
I expected that it might follow Tommy/Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski) a little more closely, as it opens up... Read more...
Now She's Perfect
The Girl Next Door
posted by Kattastrophe on February 12, 2010
So, I’m home alone and not doing anything that requires a lot of thought. I start up the 360 and scroll around the Horror section of Netflix, seeing if there’s anything new. There is. A movie called The Girl Next Door. The summary said something about a girl forced to live with her psychopathic aunt.
When I started this movie, I was expecting something like a typical slasher movie. But this movie doesn’t really deliver any of the thrills or chills that a horror flick should. Don’t get me... Read more...
I See U
Rant: The Oral Biography of Buster Casey
posted by Kattastrophe on February 12, 2010
Everyone’s got that moment in their lives. That defining moment that gives them the chance to decide who they’re going to be. Actually, it’s a series of several moments. The first one I ever had was when I was about fourteen.
My cousin and best friend at the time were staying up all night playing around on this new thing called “the internet”. While she took her turn, I was watching MTV at 3am—the only time they still showed actual music. Anyway, the band du jour video ended and then a... Read more...
Pushing the Limits
Push
posted by Kazallo on February 12, 2010
It’s Fun from start to finish. Push was able to create a world of terms and abilities that usually only are seen from a series with dozens of episodes. They don't create a new world; it's just our world with some creative sprinkles on it. Normally attempts at this fail horribly as to much info is thrown at the audience to quickly, or to dully and they either forgot or don't care. They managed to squeeze it all in well. The movie was fast paced and kept the plot rolling along while still... Read more...
Beautiful Rambling
House of Voices
posted by Kattastrophe on February 12, 2010
Sometime after WW2, the Saint Ange orphanage is being decommissioned. Anna (Virginie Ledoyen) arrives to help clean the place up before... whatever's going to happen to it happens. As the final group of children are being shipped away, a girl breaks from the crowd and goes to Anna. She whispers in Anna's ear, "Beware the scary children". So, we're off to a good start.
I mean, "scary children"? Really? That's the best the girl could come up with? What about calling them "ghosts" or... Read more...
Balance of Power
Equilibrium
posted by Ezekiel on February 12, 2010
After a 3rd world war, mankind - in an effort to stop future wars - liberates their ability to feel. Led by the Tetra Grammaton and its warriors the Grammaton Cleric, Librium is the last bastion of peace, but at what cost? Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, and Emily Watson star in this movie about one man against a system.
My love for action movies and sci-fi in general are satisfied in this singular cinematic experience, and my only regret was that when this movie was released in theaters I... Read more...
Flashback Hell
Saw VI
posted by Kattastrophe on February 12, 2010
I love gore. Love. Honestly, those four letters there may not be enough to properly convey my need for it. You can bet, I was there opening night of the original Saw movie as it promised to have plenty of it. And, oh, did it deliver. Not just gore, but also my second favorite bit of horror— psychological trauma. This series doesn't just have it in spades, it shot the moon. And VI is no exception.
The themes of VI almost seem out of place in context with the others, but they fit in... Read more...
Saw my Cube
Breathing Room
posted by Kattastrophe on February 12, 2010
When I was kid, I used to watch Scooby Doo and try to solve the mystery. I always wondered how Velma was so smart. She figured it out when I couldn't. Not that I'm Sherlock Holmes or anything. I just figured that after years of watching the show I'd have solved at least one mystery. It wasn't until I was older that I realized there was no mystery to solve. There was no trail of clues, no one acting suspicious, nothing. You, the viewer, were not meant to be smarter than the characters. It... Read more...